Not quite the same
by Linef07
Summary: Blair ditches Chuck and goes back to Nate only to realise that things aren’t exactly how she thought they would be! Set somewhere after “Hi, society”, but before “A thin line…” CB one-shot. No season 2 spoilers...


The opening thread on the defectives board on fanforum inspired me to write this one-shot! The final wish on the wish-list for season two is: "Blair fighting for Chuck", and then I thought that I had never actually read anything where Blair has to get Chuck to forgive her! So here's how it goes: Blair ditches Chuck and goes back to Nate only to realise that things aren't exactly how she thought they would be! Set somewhere after "Hi, society", but before "A thin line…" Enjoy…

* * *

**Not quite the same**

Blair Waldorf was forcefully kissing her boyfriend Nate Archibald, trying to get him to realise that she wanted some action tonight! Nate however kept turning away from her, apparently finding the movie they were watching more interesting than her. She brought her hand up to his cheek and made him look at her. Trying to look seductive she once more crashed her own lips on his and leaned her entire body against him, forcing him to lie back down on the couch.

He seemed to have finally gotten the message and started kissing her back, silently thinking that Blair must have gotten some tricks from Serena while they where apart because surely she hadn't always been this… fierce back then! He felt like he could barely keep up with her ferocious pace let only answer her desperate kisses. Blair felt him slowing down once again shifting his body uncomfortably under her weight. She continued to kiss his neck but he gave her nothing in return now.

She pushed herself away from him so she was once again sitting normally on the couch throwing her hands up in the air in a surrendering gesture. "I give up" she exclaimed rolling her eyes. "Let's just watch the stupid movie you seem to be enjoying so much".

She crossed her arms and leaned angrily against the back of the couch. She could feel Nate looking at her but she refused to turn her head. It had been like this for the past week now. Everything was so different than what it used to be and she had no idea what she was doing wrong. She had gotten what she wanted, hadn't she? All she wanted was for things to go back to what they where before this whole sex thing had entered the scene.

It had fucked everything up! She still couldn't believe she had lost her virginity to Chuck Bass of all people, but at least Nate hadn't noticed a thing when they had finally made love on the night of the cotillion. She had been mildly disappointed though, it had been nothing like the heated sessions her and Chuck had shared. It had been quiet and gentle and, she had to admit, probably just like a first time should be, but she had felt next to nothing and had had to struggle hard to keep Chuck out of her mind. In the end Nate had fallen asleep with his arms wrapped around her and she had lied awake all night, lacking satisfaction.

When Nate had woken in the morning she had initiated another round desperately wanting to prove to herself that it would be better next time, but sadly it wasn't.

The past week she had spent trying to remember if Nate had always been so… she hated to even think it, but _boring_! She had always loved his gentle kisses and the fact that he was always up for watching movies in her room cuddling up on her bed, but now she felt herself wanting something more, and she was starting to think that Nate was never going to be able to give her that.

They had slept together twice since that night, and even though it had improved slightly (mostly because Blair had taken control, and her passion had somewhat rubbed of on Nate) but it was still far from what she had experienced with Chuck. She had never had trouble talking to Nate before, but now she felt like she wasn't getting trough to him on any level. At first she had wanted to erase her entire affair with Chuck, at least then she wouldn't know what she was missing, but for the past couple of days she had actually started to wish that she hadn't ended their affair so abruptly.

She hated how Chuck had managed to take control of her entire life like this. It really wasn't fair. And he had probably moved on with some skank and had already forgotten about her. He definitely didn't seem to have a problem with Nate; she was amazed at how natural he was acting around his best friend, but it was to her advantage. Nate had suspected nothing and he never had to know anything.

The only problem was that since Chuck was still very much apart of Nate's life Blair couldn't avoid him no matter how hard she tried. Whenever Nate was around she was forced to act like her and Chuck were still friends because she didn't want Nate to be suspicious. And Chuck wasn't making things easy for her. He kept sneaking up on her from behind whenever Nate was out of sight, pressing his body up against hers or tracing his fingers down her arm refusing to let her forget how his touch made her skin burn. Every time she had to gather all her will power to shake him off and act like she was absolutely disgusted even though she secretly wanted him to keep his hands on her.

When the movie ended she had absolutely no idea what it had been about or who had been in it. She was still sitting with her arms crossed and hadn't moved an inch. Nate hadn't even bothered to try and make it up to her. He had acted as if nothing had ever happened.

"I think you should go now" she said matter-of-factly, still not looking at him. "Blair, come on…" he started, but Blair interrupted. "My mum doesn't approve of you sleeping over" She continued, this time looking at him with a sweet, fake smile. "You know how she is, so I think it's best if you leave" she ended still smiling at him. For some reason she never wanted to get in a real fight with him.

Probably because he was never really able to argue with her; not many people were, in fact Chuck and Serena seemed to be the only one's who could actually manage that, so when it came to Nate she always ended the fight before it began, and he never seemed to mind. Today wasn't any different; Nate grabbed his jacket and shut the door hard on his way out; his way of having the final word.

Blair sighed and fell back on the couch burrowing her face in her hands. What the hell was going on? Didn't Nate want her? Was she doing something wrong? She tried hard to stop the tears but they kept filling up her eyes and soon she couldn't just blink them away anymore. She had to give in and they started falling down her cheeks. She was mad, confused, and just plain out exhausted from worrying about so many things. Everything was supposed to be perfect now and yet she still felt like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. And why was she the only one? Nate and Chuck didn't seem to have a care in the world!

She took a deep breath and forced the tears to stop falling. This definitely wasn't helping anyone!

* * *

Who the hell was knocking on his door at 2 am on school night? He had been dosing off when the sound of someone knocking continuently on his door woke him up. He resistantly got out of bed and made his way to the door. Peering through the peephole, he was more than a little surprise to se none other than Blair Waldorf standing on the other side. What the hell did _she_ want?

She had been ignoring him ever since the cotillion and he was more than a little pissed at her! He opened the door and looked at her suspiciously. He waited for her to speak. "Can I come in" she asked disgruntled by his less than warm welcome. He opened the door fully and she walked through it throwing her jacket on a chair and turning towards him with a very strange look on her face; it was sort of a cross between looking seductive, flustered and immensely pissed off at the same time and he almost forgot how angry he was with her because she looked so damn cute!

He managed to keep a straight face, though, and still didn't say anything. She would have to do the talking. And so she did. "Look" she began when he still wasn't saying anything. "I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing here… but you've fucked me up, Bass!" she blurted, her cheeks turning slightly red when she realised what she'd just said. Chuck raised his eyebrows trying hard not to loose his temper, as his previous thought of adoration vaporized; she had quite the nerve coming to him like this, blaming him. He managed to respond coolly "Really? And what exactly do you want me to do about it?" He could tell she was taken aback by his unsympathetic behaviour. She narrowed her eyes; she was clearly getting pissed. "What's your problem, Bass?" she hissed.

"Why did you come here, Blair?" He asked, finding it harder and harder to keep his anger in check. "Finding dear Nathaniel _lacking_ perhaps? He asked, mockingly. As the matter of fact yes! Blair thought, but she obviously wasn't going say that. He was clearly mad at her, but she wasn't sure why, and she was getting pissed herself. She had been turned down once tonight and she had a feeling it was going to happen again!

"Nate's busy tonight" she said, not sure which question she was trying to answer. The truth was she was struggling to find out the hell she was doing here. She had to go to school tomorrow and yet here she was at two o'clock in the morning in Chuck Bass's suit! When did her life become so fucked up? And what exactly was she expecting? That he'd just fuck her without asking any questions and then let her take his limo back home? She had to laugh at her own plan, or whatever you'd want to call it. She had actually gone over here with the intention of cheating on Nate! She felt sick all of the sudden. This wasn't who she was!

"Blair!" Chucks voice reached her and she looked up at him hardly realising she had tears in her eyes. "I think you'd better go" he said repeating her angry statement from earlier. "I think you're right" She said looking at him with anger and regret in her eyes. She forced herself to walk gracefully out of the room, grabbing her jacket on her way. But as soon as she heard the door slam shut behind her, she let out a sob and ran towards the elevator.

He thought he heard her sobbing through the door, but pushed the thought away. Had she actually just come over to fuck?! And had he actually just turned her down? He definitely wasn't going to get any sleep tonight…

* * *

It took Blair about a week to realise that she had made a mistake. Nate wasn't what she wanted anymore, whatever lingering feelings she had they were not enough to sustain the sad excuse of a relationship they had been upholding since the cotillion. She had thought it was just the sex thing at first but realised soon enough that there was just no spark. And even when the sex actually improved slightly (or maybe she just got used to it) she still couldn't get rid of this numb feeling in her chest, threatening to spread to the rest of her body. She knew she had to end it. And so she did.

They were sitting on her bed, both studying when Blair slammed her book shut to get his attention. He smiled at her. "Sick of reading?" he asked, and moved in closer. "Nate, we have to talk" She said, trying to sound serious. He nodded, "ok, talk…" he looked at her. "It's not working" she blurted sounding slightly more despaired than she liked. "What's not working?" Nate asked, clearly not realising what was about to happen.

"Us" she said, looking at him, "Us, Nate, _We're_ not working anymore. I've really tried, but it just seems kinda… hopeless" She said with an apologetic smile. He looked down nodding slightly. Wasn't he even going to fight for her? Blair couldn't help but feel slightly provoked.

"Frankly, I don't think we ever really worked" she said, not because she believed it, they _had_ been good together once, but because she wanted him to react somehow. He didn't, however. He just started gathering his books and began leaving. "What?! You're not even going to say something? Prove me wrong?" she couldn't help herself. She felt slightly taken aback by his indifferent behaviour. "No, Blair, It's no good arguing with you. You always win" He said, bitterness in his voice, before he left. She snorted… Off course she always won, he never even tried!

* * *

She hadn't really considered the whole thing with Chuck yet. She was still pissed at him for blowing her off but now she was actually curious as to how he would react to their break-up. Nate would have surely told him by now.

She still wasn't sure what she felt towards him. She had been so focused on the sex part that she hadn't even realised that she missed him as a friend, and now she didn't know what she wanted. But she did feel a small flutter in her stomach as she adjusted her Burberry headband once more before heading out.

She saw them almost immediately standing outside the entrance on the stairs. She felt nervous all of the sudden, but shook it off and made her way towards them. Chuck had his back turned towards her, so Nate was the first to see her coming.

She smiled at him hesitantly but he didn't smile back. He nodded towards her, making Chuck turn around and she almost tripped over when she saw his face. He looked even angrier than the last time she saw him. She swallowed hard and decided to walk passed them. She wasn't going to let neither of them get to her. She felt their eyes on her back as she strode passed them and walked through the double doors.

* * *

"I just don't see what his problem is!" Blair exclaimed, setting down a big bunch of shopping bags on the floor. Serena dumped herself on the couch. "Maybe you hurt his feelings" She said, half jokingly, smiling at her best friend. "Ha! His feelings!" Blair mocked, placing her self on the other end of the couch. "He did say he liked you, B" "Well then he has a funny way of showing it" Blair responded sarcastically.

"Why? Because he got jealous? Look, B, I hate that I'm actually defending the guy, but it sounds like you're the one who needs to apologise!" "Excuse me? Apologise to him? For what exactly? I never did anything to make…" "You ditched him for his best friend, Blair!" Serena interrupted. "yeah, well he ditched _his_ best friend when he slept with me" Blair shot back, annoyed at Serena for not siding with her.

"That's between him and Nate! Blair, I don't know how you feel about him, but you've been talking about him all day, and you guys have been friends forever… " She trailed off. "What are you saying, S?" "I'm saying that no matter how you feel about him, if you wanna be just friends or… I dunno, _more_, you need to apologise!" She finished, looking at her stubborn friend. Blair sighed "I'll think about it, Ok? It's just… I know he's not going to make it easy!" "Of course not, B, its Chuck Bass we're talking about!" She moved over and hugged Blair, "He won't be able to resist you, B, I just know it."

* * *

She took a deep breath before she knocked on the door. She had been nervous about this all day, but she was determined to do it. She hated to admit it, but Serena was probably right, she did own him an apology. "I come in peace" she said, attempting to make him smile, but she didn't succeed. He contemplated her for a minute or so, before gesturing for her to come in.

"I need to know something" she began, having practised what she going to say all the way over here. "What?" He asked, putting his hands in his pockets. She sighed; she knew it wasn't going to be easy. "Why exactly are you so mad at me?" she asked genuinely. "You're kidding, right?" he asked sounding pissed. "Look, as I already said, I didn't come here to fight with you, I came because… well, because I think I might own you an apology!"

There. She'd said it! "I just really need for you to tell me why…" She knew she sounded stupid, she already knew why he was pissed; she just felt for some reason that he needed to say it. If she was going to open up, so was he! "So you think you own me an apology?" he said with a sarcastic smile. "And yet you want to know _why_ you need to apologise? That's just great, Waldorf" he said still sounding rather unpleasant. "Chuck, I'm really trying here, and I'd appreciate it if you did too… This isn't exactly easy for me!" she tried to sound sincere even though he had once again managed to piss her off.

"You went back to him, Blair!" he almost shouted! "I know we never really discussed whatever it was we were doing, but you just went back to him like it was the easiest thing to do! Like what we had was just some… some fling that meant nothing to you!"

He was starring at her know, with more hurt than anger in his eyes, and for the first time she felt like she understood where he was coming from. "Well, what you did at the ball wasn't really…" she trailed off trying to defend herself. "Wasn't what, Blair?" "It wasn't very nice!" She exclaimed as she couldn't come up with anything better to say. "And Nate would never have done something like that, right?" he hissed, "No, he wouldn't have! She cried out, "but that's not the point! "Really? I'm sorry I thought it was! That's the idea I got when I saw the two of you…!" "Saw us? Saw us what" Blair asked confused.

He sighed. "I followed you when you left…" Blair felt her heart pound faster. "I walked up the stairs and I saw you… kissing him" the anger had almost left his voice now, he just sounded hurt and regretful. "I didn't know that" She whispered. "Why would you?" he mumbled looking at the floor.

"I never meant for you to see that…" she shook her head. For some reason she got it now. She had known all along how he felt, well at least enough to know that he wasn't just using her and yet she had still hurt him like that. One tiny mistake and she had run back into Nate's arms.

And he'd seen them too! She felt tears welling up in her eyes again. "Hey…" she whispered "look at me" he raised his head. "I'm sorry, ok? I never meant to hurt you like that I just… I don't know. Everything happened so fast… I'm really sorry." It took her a few seconds to realise that he was kissing her, but when she did she knew she'd made the right decision, and she kissed him back.

She felt the room spinning out of control as he almost lifted her of the floor, his hands caressing her arms and her back sending shivers up her spine. God, she had missed this, missed him. She broke the kiss gasping for air. She grinned at him, she just couldn't help it. "You know, you _have_ to teach Nate a thing or two, the poor guy is clueless." She said, before pressing her lips against his again…

_That's it… Not sure it turned out the way I wanted it to, but what the heck… Please, please leave a review :-) _


End file.
